Just twomonths ago." "Very good.
Now, Mr.
Wilson?" "Well, it is just as I have been telling you, Mr.
SherlockHolmes," said Jabez Wilson, mopping his forehead; "I have asmall pawnbroker's business at Coburg Square, near the City.It's not a very large affair, and of late years it has not done morethan just give me a living.
I used to be able to keep twoassistants, but now I only keep one; and I would have a job topay him but that he is willing to come for half wages so as tolearn the business." "What is the name of this obliging youth?" asked SherlockHolmes.
"His name is Vincent Spaulding, and he's not such a youth,either.
It's hard to say his age.
I should not wish a smarterassistant, Mr.
Holmes; and I know very well that he could betterhimself and earn twice what I am able to give him.
But, after all,if he is satisfied, why should I put ideas in his head?" "Why, indeed? You seem most fortunate in having an em-ployee who comes under the full market price.
It is not acommon experience among employers in this age.
I don't knowthat your assistant is not as remarkable as your advertisement." "Oh, he has his faults, too," said Mr.
Wilson.
"Never wassuch a fellow for photography.
Snapping away with a camerawhen he ought to be improving his mind, and then diving downinto the cellar like a rabbit into its hole to develop his pictures.That is his main fault, but on the whole he's a good worker.There's no vice in him." "He is still with you, I presume?" "Yes, sir.
He and a girl of fourteen, who does a bit of simplecooking and keeps the place clean --that's all I have in thehouse, for I am a widower and never had any family.
We livevery quietly, sir, the three of us; and we keep a roof over ourheads and pay our debts, if we do nothing more.
"The first thing that put us out was that advertisement.Spaulding, he came down into the office just this day eightweeks, with this very paper in his hand, and he says: " 'I wish to the Lord, Mr.
Wilson, that I was a red-headedman.' " 'Why that?' I asks.
" 'Why,' says he, 'here's another vacancy on the League ofthe Red-headed Men.
It's worth quite a little fortune to any manwho gets it, and I understand that there are more vacancies thanthere are men, so that the trustees are at their wits' end what todo with the money.
If my hair would only change colour, here'sa nice little crib all ready for me to step into.' " 'Why, what is it, then?' I asked.
You see.
Mr.
Holmes, Iam a very stay-at-home man, and as my business came to meinstead of my having to go to it, I was often weeks on endwithout putting my foot over the door-mat.
In that way I didn'tknow much of what was going on outside, and I was always gladof a bit of news.
" 'Have you never heard of the League of the Red-headedMen?' he asked with his eyes open.
" 'Never.' " 'Why, [ wonder at that, for you are eligibile yourself forone of the vacancies.' " 'And what are they worth?' I asked.
" 'Oh, merely a couple of hundred a year, but the work isslight, and it need not interfere very much with one's otheroccupations.' "Well, you can easily think that that made me prick up myears, for the business has not been over-good for some years,and an extra couple of hundred would have been very handy.
" 'Tell me all about it,' said I.
" 'Well ' said he.
showing me the advertisement.
'you cansee for yourself that the League has a vacancy, and there is theaddress where you should apply for particulars.
As far as I canmake out, the League was founded by an American millionaire.Ezekiah Hopkins, who was very peculiar in his ways.
He washimself red-headed, and he had a great sympathy for all red-headed men; so when he died it was found that he had left hisenormous fortune in the hands of trustees, with instructions toapply the interest to the providing of easy berths to men whosehair is of that colour.
From all I hear it is splendid pay and verylittle to do.' " 'But,' said I, 'there would be millions of red-headed menwho would apply.' " 'Not so many as you might think,' he answered.
'You see itis really confined to Londoners, and to grown men.
This Ameri-can had started from London when he was young, and he wantedto do the old town a good turn.
Then, again, I have heard it is nouse your applying if your hair is light red, or dark red, oranything but real bright, blazing, fiery red.
Now, if you cared toapply, Mr.
Wilson, you would just walk in; but perhaps it wouldhardly be worth your while to put yourself out of the way for thesake of a few hundred pounds.' "Now, it is a fact, gentlemen, as you may see for yourselves,that my hair is of a very full and rich tint, so that it seemed to methat if there was to be any competition in the matter I stood asgood a chance as any man that I had ever met.
Vincent Spauldingseemed to know so much about it that I thought he might proveuseful, so I just ordered him to put up the shutters for the day andto come right away with me.
He was very willing to have aholiday, so we shut the business up and started off for theaddress that was given us in the advertisement.
"I never hope to see such a sight as that again, Mr.
Holmes.From north, south, east, and west every man who had a shade ofred in his hair had tramped into the city to answer the advertise-ment.
Fleet Street was choked with red-headed folk, and Pope'sCourt looked like a coster's orange barrow.
I should not havethought there were so many in the whole country as were broughttogether by that single advertisement.
Every shade of colour theywere --straw, lemon, orange, brick, Irish-setter, liver, clay; but,as Spaulding said, there were not many who had the real vividflame-coloured tint.
When I saw how many were waiting, Iwould have given it up in despair; but Spaulding would not hearof it.
How he did it I could not imagine, but he pushed andpulled and butted until he got me through the crowd, and rightup to the steps which led to the office.
There was a doublestream upon the stair, some going up in hope, and some comingback dejected; but we wedged in as well as we could and soonfound ourselves in the office." "Your experience has been a most entertaining one," re-marked Holmes as his client paused and refreshed his memorywith a huge pinch of snuff.
"Pray continue your very interestingstatement." "There was nothing in the office but a couple of woodenchairs and a deal table, behind which sat a small man with ahead that was even redder than mine.
He said a few words toeach candidate as he came up, and then he always managed tofind some fault in them which would disqualify them.
Getting avacancy did not seem to be such a very easy matter, after all.However, when our turn came the little man was much morefavourable to me than to any of the others, and he closed thedoor as we entered, so that he might have a private word withus.
" 'This is Mr.
Jabez Wilson,' said my assistant, 'and he iswilling to fill a vacancy in the League.' " 'And he is admirably suited for it,' the other answered.
'Hehas every requirement.
I cannot recall when I have seen anythingso fine.' He took a step backward, cocked his head on one side,and gazed at my hair until I felt quite bashful.
Then suddenly heplunged forward, wrung my hand, and congratulated me warmlyon my success.
" 'It would be injustice to hesitate,' said he.
'You will,however, I am sure, excuse me for taking an obvious precaution.'With that he seized my hair in both his hands, and tugged until Iyelled with the pain.
'There is water in your eyes,' said he as hereleased me.
'I perceive that all is as it should be.
But we haveto be careful, for we have twice been deceived by wigs and onceby paint.
I could tell you tales of cobbler's wax which woulddisgust you with human nature.' He stepped over to the windowand shouted through it at the top of his voice that the vacancywas filled.
A groan of disappointment came up from below, andthe folk all trooped away in different directions until there wasnot a red-head to be seen except my own and that of themanager.
" 'My name,' said he, 'is Mr.
Duncan Ross, and I am myselfone of the pensioners upon the fund left by our noble benefactor.Are you a married man, Mr.
Wilson? Have you a family?' "I answered that I had not.
"His face fell immediately.
" 'Dear me!' he said gravely, 'that is very serious indeed! Iam sorry to hear you say that.
The fund was, of course, for thepropagation and spread of the red-heads as well as for theirmaintenance.
It is exceedingly unfortunate that you should be abachelor.' "My face lengthened at this, Mr.
Holmes, for I thought that Iwas not to have the vacancy after all; but after thinking it overfor a few minutes he said that it would be all right.
" 'In the case of another,' said he, 'the objection might befatal, but we must stretch a point in favour of a man with such ahead of hair as yours.
When shall you be able to enter upon yournew duties?' " 'Well, it is a little awkward, for I have a business already,'said I.
" 'Oh, never mind about that, Mr.
Wilson!' said VincentSpaulding.
'I should be able to look after that for you.' " 'What would be the hours?' I asked.
" 'Ten to two.' "Now a pawnbroker's business is mostly done of an evening,Mr.
Holmes, especially Thursday and Friday evening, which isjust before pay-day; so it would suit me very well to earn a littlein the mornings.
Besides, I knew that my assistant was a goodman, and that he would see to anything that turned up.
" 'That would suit me very well,' said I.
'And the pay?' " 'Is 4 pounds a week.' " 'And the work?' " 'Is purely nominal.' " 'What do you call purely nominal?' " 'Well, you have to be in the office, or at least in thebuilding, the whole time.
If you leave, you forfeit your wholeposition forever.
The will is very clear upon that point.
Youdon't comply with the conditions if you budge from the officeduring that time.' " 'It's only four hours a day, and I should not think ofleaving,' said I.
" 'No excuse will avail,' said Mr.
Duncan Ross; 'neithersickness nor business nor anything else.
There you must stay, oryou lose your billet.' " 'And the work?' " 'Is to copy out the Encyclopedia Britannica.
There is thefirst volume of it in that press.
You must find your own ink.pens, and blotting-paper, but we provide this table and chair.Will you be ready to-morrow?' " 'Certainly,' I answered.
" 'Then, good-bye, Mr.
Jabez Wilson, and let me congratu-late you once more on the important position which you havebeen fortunate enough to gain.' He bowed me out of the roomand I went home with my assistant, hardly knowing what to sayor do, I was so pleased at my own good fortune.
"Well, I thought over the matter all day, and by evening I wasin low spirits again; for I had quite persuaded myself that thewhole affair must be some great hoax or fraud, though what itsobject might be I could not imagine.
It seemed altogether pastbelief that anyone could make such a will, or that they wouldpay such a sum for doing anything so simple as copying out theEncyclopedia Britannica.
Vincent Spaulding did what he couldto cheer me up, but by bedtime I had reasoned myself out of thewhole thing.
However, in the morning I determined to have alook at it anyhow, so I bought a penny bottle of ink, and with aquill-pen, and seven sheets of foolscap paper, I started off forPope's Court.
"Well, to my surprise and delight, everything was as right aspossible.
The table was set out ready for me, and Mr.
DuncanRoss was there to see that I got fairly to work.
He started me offupon the letter A, and then he left me; but he would drop in fromtime to time to see that all was right with me.
At two o'clock hebade me good-day, complimented me upon the amount that Ihad written, and locked the door of the office after me.
"This went on day after day, Mr.
Holmes, and on Saturdaythe manager came in and planked down four golden sovereignsfor my week's work.
It was the same next week, and the samethe week after.
Every morning I was there at ten, and everyafternoon I left at two.
By degrees Mr.
Duncan Ross took tocoming in only once of a morning, and then, after a time, he didnot come in at all.
Still, of course, I never dared to leave theroom for an instant, for I was not sure when he might come, andthe billet was such a good one, and suited me so well, that Iwould not risk the loss of it.
"Eight weeks passed away like this, and I had written aboutAbbots and Archery and Armour and Architecture and Attica,and hoped with diligence that I might get on to the B's beforevery long.
It cost me something in foolscap, and I had prettynearly filled a shelf with my writings.
And then suddenly thewhole business came to an end." "To an end?" "Yes, sir.
And no later than this morning.
I went to my workas usual at ten o'clock, but the door was shut and locked, with alittle square of card-board hammered on to the middle of thepanel with a tack.
Here it is, and you can read for yourself." He held up a piece of white card-board about the size of asheet of note-paper.
It read in this fashion: THE RED-HEADED LEAGUE IS DISSOLVED.
October 9, 1890.
Sherlock Holmes and I surveyed this curt announcement andthe rueful face behind it, until the comical side of the affair socompletely overtopped every other consideration that we bothburst out into a roar of laughter.
